Your dad touched me again.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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