I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
