even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
