just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
