You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
