Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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