I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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