So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
