My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
