Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
