these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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