thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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