Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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