My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
