I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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