There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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