I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
