While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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