She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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