I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
