thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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