I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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