Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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