Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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