Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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