I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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