Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
