Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
