is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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