When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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