Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
