I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
