apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
