You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
