also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Naked. naked and bneed help.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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