I'm going to jail i love you
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
