its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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