Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I faked an abortion last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
