her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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