Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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