check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Can Purell be used as lube?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We need to get me chipped asap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
