accomplished twins. life is a go
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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