fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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