she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
