he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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