The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
