I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
