I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
