His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
