i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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