So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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