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They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
